Musings from the Scorpion City

I warned you I'd be posting these random journal entries from throughout the year. I've just spent the night of the full moon in the haunted ruins of a 13th century castle celebrating the moon goddess and dancing under the stars to FOTN amongst other favorites old and new. I have to say the acoustics in the keep are pretty awesome and there was some serious magic in the air that night... Now summer seems to have blown a gasket and the rains have drifted in. After a howling end of summer party which started at another chateau last night, my head feels kind of like it's blown a gasket as well, so I'll keep this short and sweet...

The Scorpion City 5-5-2013:

I can't remember who's blog I was reading that wrote, "I want to be in love with my life every day. I want to learn and create and hang onto a sense of wonder wherever it takes me." The one thing I would add to this is to be in love with yourself in a life that you love. It's really not conceited. Have you ever stopped to think what it is about yourself that amazes you? And yet you think this about other people all the time. I hate this word conceited because it carries such a stigma. There is a huge difference between being narcissistic, and being the star of your own show. Conceited is the word which is dragged out whenever someone else feels threatened. Feel great about something you just wrote, or the new dress you bought, or something you painted, or maybe you just closed a really big deal, or aced your test? Nothing like feeling good about it and then having someone trot out the conceited word. But you should write this down and say it out loud every day - 'other peoples perceptions of you are none of your business'. So feel good about it, dammit. Celebrate it. I say celebrate everything you do. I mean, why the hell not? If you can't be in love with yourself than how can you be in love with your life? This is your life to live not someone else's. Just do one thing for yourself today. Find one thing about yourself that you love and toast it. Then devise a story about this one aspect of yourself and see where it goes. It'll be fun and surprising, I promise you.

Here, I'll go first. Today I woke up in Barcelona. It's been 18 hour work days for the last week and I've got five screen/ and or book projects going on at once (thankfully two are almost completely finished), and I'm haggard; worn to the bone. I've been fighting with my partner who is brilliant, but difficult at the best of times. I don't have time for a rest day, but I do have time for a mini break. What do I celebrate today? My endless sense of adventure. Hurrah! So I take a walk up to the park crawling with tourists next to the Gaudi cathedral and people watch for a while. I chat with a cute hippy guy who is making bubbles – giant bubbles and bubbles within bubbles. The kids love him. I like the smoke bubbles. I like the sheen they give off. It makes me think of other dimensions and things that should not be and I love getting lost in these kinds of trains of thought. I sit on a wooden bench and write this paragraph:

"I saw you this morning only for a split second. Green eyes watching me cross the city street from beneath a motorcycle helmet. I recognized you. It's been a long time since you've haunted my dreams. 'How long you say?' 'I don't know,' I reply, 'I don't even know your name.' The last time I saw you was late at night in an old bar along a darkened quarter in San Sebastian. You made me a drink and you were so close that time I could see the flecks of gold in your lime colored eyes. You smiled that lupine smile at me and said, 'welcome back', even though I'd never been there before. That night, I couldn't sleep. All I could think about was your tawny skin as I listened to the waves pounding against shore. Now you are just a moment in time. A flash from a strangers eyes. But I know someday, when I'm least expecting it, you will find me again. Until then, my once and future lover... á démain.”

 I hope they never finish the cathedral and just keep adding to it forever.

Then I walk down streets I don't know and force myself to find another way back to the flat. I stop in a boutique and try on a pair of outrageous high heels that I may never wear in a thousand years, but I love them anyway. My mood starts to brighten. The sun comes out again. It's only a little adventure, but suddenly I'm recharged. Now, I smell like mandarin oranges and am putting on red lipstick and curling up like a cat on the hardwood floor as a patch of afternoon sunlight spills through the window. I feel exotique again and this makes me happy. It's a simple as that. Now it's your turn!

End of journal entry.

While wandering the natural stone labyrinth in Nebias last week I was snapped in this picture as I turned on one of the still warm rocks to invoke my strange prayers to the dying sun. Nebias is home of the fairies den and they seemed to want to play. I had no idea they'd given me wings until I'd gotten back home. Such a fabulously mischievous gift from the incantadas of summerland.

Photo by Richard Stanley

Much love from where the worlds touch,

S - xx